My Daughter Said What?!?!?


  Everyday with a child is a new challenge and as any parent will probably tell you, it seems that we learn more from them sometimes then they learn from us. And, as all parents know, There is no limit to the embarrassing things your child will say and probably do throughout the course of his or her life. Parents will do the same to their children, be embarrassing, if we are not doing so already. It is our right as parents to embarrass our children, so why not make the most of it. If you were to ask my sisters, there have been many "i can't believe these are my parents" moments. But, I am not here to talk about how we embarrass them, more how they embarrass us. Prepare yourselves folks, for the many things that my daughter has said and even done to make me laugh, cry, or flush with utter embarrassment. Ready? Here we go! 

Bria

This is my beautiful daughter, Bria. A cutie, right? She is 7 years old and the center of my universe. She is a relatively happy, when she isn't throwing a drama queen tantrum, quick-witted, curious, extremely intelligent for her age, and absolutely hysterical. Ever since she was able to talk, and talk she does, the funny has been happening. With Bria, as with most young children, everything is a who, what, where, when, why, and how. Any parent will say that their children has gone through or is in this state of wonder. Beware if your child has not reached this phase in life, the questions are truly endless. (deep breathes people) They tell me it doesn't really get easier from here and i believe them. Trust me when i say that your parents could have never prepared you for the mission you took on when you became a parent yourself. It is a never ending "job", one that is the most rewarding and the most frustrating that you will ever have in your life. Rocket scientists have nothing on parents.

  Now that i have introduced Bria to you all, let us begin. 


    Every parent waits patiently or impatiently for that moment when their child begins to talk. For me, i wished that she would start talking so that i could understand what she wanted. I never did the whole "mother-ese" with my daughter. I always talked to her how i would talk to any other person on the planet. I didn't goo-goo ga-ga her, since people do not really talk that way. The first word were the usual ma and ba. When the words started flowing i would start trying to get her to say words that were far beyond both her understanding and her level of articulation, just to get it going. Now she has a massive vocabulary which contributes to the hysteria that is Bria. 
     It all started with a drive in the car. I remember it being a pretty nice day out, as it usually is in the state of Florida. I was listening to the radio as we drove and a Gwen Stefani song came on. It was Holla Back Girl. Driving along and singing (as i do when i am driving and anywhere else i am, i love music) and from the back seat i hear "uh huh this my sh*t!". It was a good thing that i was at a stop light so that i could look back and be sure that came from Bria's mouth. I began to laugh ( bad i know, i can't help myself most of the time) as she sang. I told her that she couldn't say that word, not that minded that she was singing or anything like that, just you know. I was tickled pink that she started to sing, but worried that happened to be the song and words she chose to start with. And so it began....

   In another incident that I can remember, which i think was instigated by not only my husband, but also myself, Bria screamed "holy titties" in a grocery store after hearing me make a comment about a very, very, skinny young woman with breasts too large for her body size. Let's talk about embarrassing moments!! Not only did i turn tomato red (and laughed as i usually do) i attempted to avoid her through the rest of my time in the store. *sigh* only me right? Just wait. If you haven't already there will be that moment for you also. You'll see. 
   Again, Bria never ceases to amaze and amuse me. This time she points out an older gentleman, who was riding his bike on the beach side with a full drink in his hand, as he falls off the curb with his bicycle, spilling his drink and proceeding to cuss immediately. This time i am with a friend of mine, who aided in getting Bria registered for Pre-K. She screams "Look mom! That man just fell of his bike!" My friend, who is clearly holding in the laughter of the situation, looks to see the man she is pointing at. I, as usual, can hardly contain myself and begin laughing hysterically. The older gentleman who had been standing near the entrance of the building also saw the fall, but turned away as Bria points out the other man, who is now picking up his bike and empty cup. I lift the papers in my hand towards my face so that the fallen man cannot see me giggling hysterically at Bria's loud observation. 

   As you can see, Bria is a non-stop barrel of laughter! With her there is always something funny. i think laughter is healthy. Everyone should have a good laugh because i believe that laughter keeps you happy and healthy. Nothing is better than a good laugh, even if it is out of embarrassment. Almost everything she says and does brings a smile to my face and sometimes tears to my eyes. (from laughing so damn hard.) 
   One day she hung out with my sister and her fiance. Bria was sitting on my sister's fiance's lap, playing with a stuffed giraffe. He asked her what the giraffe was doing. Bria told him a safari. He said a safari, huh? She says "yep, a fat safari." LOL! How could you do anything other than laugh. My sister immediately called up my mom to tell her the hysterical thing that came out of bria's mouth yet again. My mom calls me to tell me and again, its a feast of laughter. Oh, Bria! You make your mother laugh.

  Now and then, i get mad. All parents do. No child is perfect. Yet even when i am angry with her, she finds a way to make me laugh and forget why i was mad in the first place. This fact both frustrates me and makes me love her even more. Bless her little heart! I am no easy mother to have, nor am i the "perfect" mother. I am woman enough to admit that i have no idea what i am doing when it comes to raising my daughter. I am sure that most of you with kids feel this way. i doubt that we ever really get the hang of being a parent. Yet, we keep trying, hoping that one day, he or she will tell us how much they appreciated what we did/do for them. Until that day, let the laughs and frustrations continue.
     

Bria

   If you don't know me personally, i can tell you honestly that i swear/cuss often. It's a habit that i find hard to break. I try not to but sometimes i just can't help myself. There are many words however, that i do not use around my daughter at all. I am thankful that even though i do cuss, my daughter knows that it is inappropriate. She often tells me so. In a conversation i was having with my mom about the movie Dictator that i had seen, Bria chimes in "Mom, you shouldn't say that, it has a bad word in it." I didn't think that much about what she was saying to me, but went on to explain what a dictator was. As i went into the explanation, Bria says "Yes, it does mom! It has the word "dick" in it. Note here that not only did she say this in front of my mom, but my grandmother, my sister, my husband, and about 10 others. I was wow-ed!! I don't say that word!! i looked at my mom who clearly was thinking that this was a word from my colorful vocabulary, which i denied. Yet, laughter spilled from my lips even as i attempted to be stern and tell her that she cannot say things like that. 


There are a million things that i could tell you that Bria has said that has and could embarrass anyone. She speaks without a filter as any child does. However, she is the center of my universe, as i have said many times over. With all those great moments shared, let me leave you with some Bria words and phrases. And feel free to add your comments about the things your kids say! 

~ As we are giving our cat, Ned, a bath he is crying loudly. Bria says "what a patheticist!" Our interpretation: Patheticest: the weakest spartan.
~ Pit-a-bo! Peek-a-Boo, Bria style.
~ As i am having a conversation with a friend about money, Bria says "you have to get what you need before you get what you want!" Who knew that a 6 yr old even knew the difference!
~ While playing with her learning computer, she is staring at the keyboard and says "where the heck do they keep the "m" at?!?

My universe is just like a little comedian!